Ramblings

I was reading this week’s edition of The Onion, and it had an interview in the back (a real interview, not a satire) with the two authors of The Book of SPAM:  A Most Glorious and Definitive Compendium of The World’s Favorite Canned Meat.  One thing I thought was funny was that when asked if SPAM carried the same stigma in other parts of the world as it does in the US, they said, “In Korea it’s acceptable as a wedding present.  There it’s also great for a first date.” 

I guess it’s not that surprising.  In Korea, TGI Fridays, Bennigans, and Outback Steakhouse are all considered fine dining.  I saw a wedding proposal at one of those restaurants once. 

I taught private lessons to this bratty child when I was in Korea, and her mother would always cook me dinner after each lesson.  Sometimes it would be pretty decent Asian food, but usually it would just be sad American-style cuisine.  I don’t even think she had a cook book.  She would just see what Americans were eating in movies or on TV, and then she would try to copy it with whatever she had lying around her house when I was there.  Usually this meant watery spaghetti sauce on top of lo mein noodles, tacos with ketchup instead of salsa, or just meatballs.  I would always choke it down and lie and tell her I really liked it.  One time she gave me a SPAM sandwich with sides of french fries and kimchi and it was tasty.  Real tasty.  Then she used an English sentence she had taught herself, the only English she ever used with me, and said, “I buy SPAM to impress you.”  Her English was already much better than her daughter’s.

After that I bought SPAM a couple of times at the corner market.  Some days I just didn’t feel like eating Korean food at a restaurant, and when I went to the grocery store it was always stocked with weird roots and tubers and things I couldn’t identify, much less cook on my own.  All of the meat there either consisted of pig knuckles or whole fish.  One day the shelf would be full and overflowing with SPAM, and I would go back the next day and there would only be one or two cans remaining.  I guess it was a pretty high traffic item.  Lots of weddings and first dates must have been going on.

I give SPAM a score of 58,174 out of 100,000.